Okay listen… stress management is literally the only thing standing between me and a complete meltdown right now. I’m sitting here in my tiny apartment somewhere in the US, AC blasting because it’s disgustingly humid even though it’s January 2026, empty Monster can staring at me like it knows I’m a mess, and my phone keeps buzzing with work emails that I’m straight-up ignoring. So yeah… if anyone needs simple habits to stay calm, it’s definitely me. And probably you too, right?
Why I’m Actually Terrible at Stress Management (And Why That’s Kinda Fine)
But honestly? I’ve slowly been figuring out some simple habits to stay calm that actually work for real, messy, imperfect people like us. No perfect routines. No “just meditate for 30 minutes” nonsense when I can barely sit still for 30 seconds without checking my phone.
Habit #1: The 4-7-8 Breathing Thing (That I Forget Like 70% of the Time)
This is legit the first stress management trick that ever actually stopped me from spiraling into full ugly-crying panic attacks.
You inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8. Sounds bougie, right? It’s not. I do it in traffic, when my boss is typing in all caps in Slack, when I’m waiting for my Uber Eats and questioning every life choice I’ve ever made.
Pro tip: I set random alarms on my phone labeled stuff like “DON’T PANIC BRO” or “BREATHE YOU IDIOT” so I remember. Works… sometimes.
Learn more about it here: Dr. Andrew Weil’s 4-7-8 Breathing Technique
Habit #2: Screaming Into a Pillow (No Joke)
Sometimes staying calm means first letting all the chaos OUT, you know?
I have this old body pillow that’s basically my emotional support scream receptacle. When everything feels like too much, I shove my face in it and just… scream. Full volume. Then I feel stupid, laugh at myself, and somehow… I’m calmer.
No scientific link for this one. It’s just something I discovered after almost yeeting my phone across the room during a really bad Teams call.
Habit #3: The Five-Minute “F*ck It” Rule
This is my all-time favorite simple habit to stay calm.
When my brain starts the spiral (“I’m gonna get fired / I’m a total failure / everyone secretly hates me”), I give myself exactly five minutes to feel ALL of it. I set a timer. I wallow. I cry. I record unhinged voice notes to myself.
Then the timer goes off and I literally say out loud: “Okay… f*ck it.” And I do one tiny thing: make tea, stretch, text a friend something dumb.
It’s not pretty. But it actually works.
Habit #4: Walking While Listening to the Dumbest Playlist Imaginable
I used to think stress relief meant peaceful silent walks in nature. Yeah… no.
My current stay calm playlist is ridiculous:
- “Levitating” by Dua Lipa on repeat
- 2000s NSYNC bangers
- That one “Oh No” song by Kreepa
- Actual sea shanties (don’t even ask)
I put my earbuds in, walk around my neighborhood like a complete weirdo, and sing terribly. People stare. I don’t care. Endorphins kick in. Stress kinda melts away. Simple as that.
Habit #5: Actually Talking to Real Humans (Crazy, I Know)
But real talk: the single best stress management tool I’ve found is just texting or calling someone who gets it and saying: “Yo I’m literally losing my mind right now.”
No fixing. No advice. Just someone witnessing the mess.
Wrapping This Mess Up
Look… I’m still a disaster half the time. Some days I do all these simple habits to stay calm perfectly, and some days I’m stress-eating and doom-scrolling until 3 a.m. Both are true and that’s okay.
The point is: you don’t have to be perfect at stress management. You just have to keep trying tiny, stupid, human things.
