Stress Management Strategies Right now I’m sitting cross-legged on my couch in [somewhere in the US, probably with bad Wi-Fi], the ceiling fan doing that irritating click-click-click thing it always does, my phone just pinged with another work email even though it’s barely dinner time, and honestly? I’m so tired I could cry. Not cute cry. Ugly cry. The kind where your nose runs and you look like a sad tomato.
The last few years have been… a lot. Pandemic brain fog that never really left, work stress that feels like it’s superglued to my back, family stuff that keeps popping up like whack-a-mole, and me just trying to act like I have my shit together when inside I’m basically a human stress ball about to pop.
So yeah. Stress management strategies went from “oh that sounds nice” to “if I don’t figure this out I’m gonna lose it in the middle of Target again.”
Why 90% of Stress Advice Makes Me Want to Throw My Phone
You know those perfect Instagram carousels? “Meditate 20 mins! Drink lemon water! Journal your gratitudes at sunrise!”
Like… okay cool Sharon, meanwhile I’m over here trying not to lose my mind because the toddler smeared yogurt on the TV remote again and my inbox is at 1,800 unread.
But slowly, messily, embarrassingly, I started finding stuff that actually kinda works for me. Not perfectly. Not Instagram-pretty. But enough to keep me from completely melting down.
Here’s my very real, very flawed, sometimes-cringe list of stress management strategies that have actually helped (on good days).
1. The 90-Second Meltdown Rule (Because I Can’t Sit Still for 20 Minutes of Meditation)
I read about this in The Body Keeps the Score (seriously changed how I see my brain → https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18693771-the-body-keeps-the-score) — basically an emotion only lasts about 90 seconds in your body unless you keep feeding it with thoughts.
So when that white-hot rage hits because someone cut me off in traffic or my boss sent another “just circling back” email, I literally just… sit there. For 90 seconds. I feel the heat in my face, the clench in my stomach, the way my hands want to strangle something.
Most of the time it actually fades. Sometimes I’m still pissed 45 minutes later and screaming into said pillow (see below), but 90 seconds is short enough that even I can do it.
1,300+ Screaming Into Pillow Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free …
2. Screaming Into a Pillow (No, Seriously, I Do This)
I’m not proud okay?? But when everything piles up — kids yelling, work deadline breathing down my neck, that one friend who always texts me at the worst possible moment — I go into the closet, shut the door, grab my ancient sad pillow that’s seen better days, and just… scream.
It’s dumb. It’s loud. My neighbors probably think I’m being murdered. But afterwards? I feel lighter. Like I let some of the pressure out of the valve.
There’s even science behind it — controlled yelling can drop cortisol levels (here’s a study if you’re into that kind of thing: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7118461/).
So yeah. Pillow screaming. Don’t knock it till you try it.
3. Walking Like I’m Mad at the Sidewalk
I used to hate “exercise.” Like, genuinely hated it. But then I realized walking fast while listening to angry music or true crime is basically stress relief with cardio.
Also accidentally lost like 12 pounds. Didn’t even mean to. Whoops.
4. The Brain-Dump Notebook That Looks Like a Serial Killer Wrote It
My head at night is like 47 browser tabs playing music at the same time. So now every night I grab this cheap spiral notebook from the dollar store and just… dump.
Worries about bills. That dumb thing I said in the Zoom meeting. The fact that I forgot to buy milk for the third day in a row. All of it. Ugly handwriting, crossed out words, sometimes just angry scribbles.
It’s not pretty. But getting it out of my brain and onto paper makes falling asleep way easier.
Pro tip: Do NOT open it in the morning. Just slam it shut and pretend it never happened.
5. Scheduling “Do Nothing” Time (And Feeling Insanely Guilty About It)
This one almost killed me.
I used to feel like if I wasn’t being “productive” every second I was a failure. But doing nothing is actually productive when you’re running on fumes.
So twice a week I literally block 45 minutes on my calendar that just says “NOTHING.” No phone. No laundry. No guilt (okay maybe a little guilt). I just lie on the floor or sit on the couch and stare at nothing.
Sometimes I fall asleep. Sometimes I cry for no reason. Sometimes I just breathe. And weirdly… it’s become the most important part of my week.
Here are some visuals that illustrate the idea beautifully:
Okay, Wrapping This Chaotic Ramble Up
Listen. I’m not some calm, zen person who has life figured out. Half the time I’m still a stressed-out disaster who snaps at my partner over nothing, doom-scrolls at 1 a.m., and then feels guilty about it.
But these stress management strategies — the screaming, the fast walking, the ugly notebook, the forced nothing — they’ve helped me crawl toward something that feels a tiny bit more like balance. A tiny bit more like happy.
