How to build a high-performing team from scratch is the question that’s been living rent-free in my head since like mid-2024 when I stupidly said yes to leading a fresh group of seven people who barely knew each other’s last names.
Right now I’m sitting in my over-air-conditioned apartment outside Raleigh, NC, it’s 78 degrees outside in January which feels illegal, there’s a dead plant on my windowsill judging me, and I’m eating cold lo mein straight from the carton while I try to write this without sounding like a LinkedIn guru. Spoiler: I’m gonna fail at that last part a little.
Here’s what I’ve actually learned (and keep learning the hard way) about turning strangers into something that can ship real work without everyone wanting to strangle each other.
1. You Have to Survive the Awkward Phase First (It Sucks)
First three months? Everyone is polite. Too polite. Like “haha no it’s totally fine that the async update doc is three weeks out of date” polite.
I tried forcing vulnerability too fast once. Big mistake. Build a High-Performing Asked everyone to share their biggest career fear in week two. Got blank stares and one guy who said “uhhh… heights?” Trust takes longer than consultants want to admit. What actually worked was just consistent small repeated actions: same standup time every day, same format, me showing up even when I felt like trash. Boring? Yes. Effective? Annoyingly yes.
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2. Hire for Drama Tolerance + Curiosity (Not Just Skills)
Skills you can teach. Dealing with ambiguity and mild chaos without imploding? That’s rarer.
I passed on a super-talented engineer last year because in the final chat he said “I hate when processes aren’t clearly defined from day one.” Red flag for me at that stage. We were literally defining the process. Instead hired a slightly less polished dev who laughed during the “tell me about a time everything went wrong” question and said “which Tuesday?”
3. The One Ritual We Still Do Every Week (Even When We Hate It)
We do “Good Shitty Interesting” at the end of every Friday.
Each person says:
- one good thing from the week
- one shitty thing
- one interesting thing (can be work or not)
Last week someone’s interesting thing was “I saw a raccoon steal a whole slice of pizza from a toddler in the park.” We laughed for four minutes straight. Build a High-Performing That kind of dumb human moment matters more than any team offsite.
(Also shout-out to https://hbr.org/2019/03/the-power-of-small-wins — reading that article in 2024 basically saved my sanity.)
4. Stop Trying to “Fix” Introverts (You’ll Just Make Them Quit)
I used to think high-performing team = everyone talks a lot in meetings. Wrong.
Now I have one engineer who almost never speaks in Zoom. But he writes the cleanest PRs, finds the gnarliest bugs, and when he does drop a sentence it usually ends the debate. Forcing him to “participate more” would’ve been stupid. Instead I just make sure async channels are sacred and decisions get written down.
5. Money & Equity Talk Happens Early or It Poisons Everything
I waited four months once to talk comp + equity refresh because “we’re still proving PMF.” Dumb. People started quietly job hunting. Tension you could cut with a knife. Now I do the uncomfortable money conversation by month 2 even if it’s just “here’s the current band, here’s what good looks like at series A.” Transparency isn’t sexy but it prevents resentment.
6. You Will Have to Fire Someone (Probably)
We had to let a senior person go last summer. Great resume, terrible fit with how we actually ship. Build a High-Performing I delayed it for six weeks because I felt guilty. Those six weeks poisoned morale more than the actual firing did. Lesson burned into my brain now.
(If you want the clinical-but-human version of how to do it right, https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/how-to-fire-someone is still the best thing I’ve read.)
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7. Celebrate Ugly Wins
Our first real “launch” was a disaster. Half the features didn’t work, load times were trash, we got 47 sign-ups and probably lost 40 of them in the first hour.
We still ordered $400 of barbecue to my garage and called it a party. Took terrible group photos.
