Right now I’m sitting in my tiny apartment in [somewhere in the US – let’s say a random suburb because honestly who cares], it’s like 11:47 pm, there’s half a cold pizza on the table and my dog keeps farting every time I type “leadership.” Real glamorous life of someone trying to figure out how to become an influential leader at age 34 after spending most of my 20s being aggressively mediocre.
Anyway.
1. Stop Waiting for Permission to Have a Damn Opinion
The very first thing I had to do to even start becoming an influential leader was quit waiting for someone to hand me a title. I spent years in meetings nodding like a bobblehead because “who am I to speak up?” Then one Tuesday I blurted out in a Zoom call that the entire marketing plan was garbage. Dead silence. Then my boss actually said “…yeah, keep going.” That was it. One awkward sentence.
Read more about speaking up early from Harvard Business Review: https://hbr.org/2021/01/the-power-of-saying-what-needs-to-be-said
2. Get Stupidly Clear on What You Actually Care About (and Tell People)
I used to think influential leadership meant having all the answers. Nah. It’s having one or two things you’re willing to get fired over. For me it’s “don’t waste people’s time” and “be disgustingly honest about what’s broken.” Once I started repeating those two sentences like a broken record, people started remembering I existed.
3. Listen So Hard It Hurts Your Brain
I’m still trash at this. But the month I forced myself to shut up for the first five minutes of every 1:1 and just… listen… people started volunteering information. Crazy concept. Turns out when you stop interrupting to prove you’re smart, actual trust forms.
Check out this short Active Listening guide from CCL (seriously useful): https://www.ccl.org/articles/leading-effectively-articles/coaching-others-use-active-listening-skills/
4. Make Decisions – Even Bad Ones – Faster Than Everyone Else
Analysis paralysis was my brand for like six years. Then I read somewhere that influential leaders make reversible decisions quickly. So I started saying “let’s try it for two weeks and kill it if it sucks.” Shockingly, most things didn’t kill us. Some even worked.
5. Give Credit Like It’s Free Candy
I used to hoard praise because I thought it made me look better. Then I started CC’ing people on every win email, name-dropping in meetings, screenshotting good work and sending it to the whole team. Weirdly, people started doing the same for me. Who knew reciprocity was real?
6. Be Seen Having a Meltdown (Selectively)
This one’s embarrassing. Last year I sent a company-wide email at 2 a.m. that started with “I’m losing my mind because our onboarding is trash and I’m tired of watching good people leave.” I woke up to 47 replies. Half were “same,” half were offering to help fix it. Turns out showing you’re human (not unhinged, just human) makes people want to follow you more, not less.
7. Repeat Yourself Until You Hate Your Own Voice
You think you’ve communicated the vision? You haven’t. Say it again. Then say it in Slack. Then say it in the all-hands. Then say it in the random hallway convo. I used to think repeating myself made me annoying. Now I know it’s the only way anyone remembers anything.
![Inside VC3] Account Executive: Skills, Commitment, and Team ...](https://www.vc3.com/hubfs/AE-Networking-Illustration.png)
(These capture the essence in motivational quote style, workplace wisdom, and light-hearted team
So yeah. That’s my current messy, flawed, very American take on how to become an influential leader. I’m still screwing up daily—yesterday I talked over someone in a meeting and felt like garbage for three hours—but I’m at least screwing up while moving forward instead of standing still.
