Emotional health is actually the real key to a happy and successful life—I’m not even exaggerating anymore. Like, I used to think if I just grinded harder, made more money, got the “right” partner, hit inbox zero every day, then boom—happiness would show up like an Amazon Prime delivery. Spoiler: it didn’t. I’m sitting here in my messy apartment outside DC (yes still in sweatpants at 2:47 pm, don’t judge), coffee cold on the windowsill, rain tapping the glass like it’s trying to get my attention, and I’m finally admitting out loud that none of that external stuff stuck until I started actually dealing with my emotional health.
Seriously.
Why I Used to Think Emotional Health Was Just “Self-Help BS”
Back in like 2023–2024 I was peak hustle zombie. 14-hour days, DoorDash for breakfast-lunch-dinner, sleeping four hours if I was lucky. I told myself I was “building something.” What I was actually building was a spectacular burnout crater.
I remember one night—January, freezing, I was walking home from the metro with tears literally freezing on my cheeks—not because I was sad in a poetic way, but because I was so goddamn exhausted I couldn’t even feel what emotion was making me cry. That was the first time I whispered to myself “maybe emotional health actually matters.” Felt so cheesy I almost laughed through the snot.
Anyway.
If you want sources that aren’t just me ranting, the World Health Organization literally calls mental health a “state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her own potential” and links it directly to coping with normal life stresses.
The worst part? Everyone saw. My co-founder muted himself but I could see his eyes go wide. I mumbled something about “connection dropping” and left the call.
Sat on my bathroom floor for like 40 minutes afterward just staring at the grout lines. That was rock bottom for me. Not dramatic public failure—quiet private shame.
That day I started actually googling “how to improve emotional health” instead of pretending I was fine.
Here’s what actually moved the needle for me (not what some perfect influencer says, but what my flawed human self could stick to):
- Five-minute name-it-to-tame-it journaling Every night I write three things:
- What emotion is loudest right now?
- Where do I feel it in my body? (chest tight, throat hot, stomach churning—whatever)
- One brutally honest sentence about why it’s there. No fixing, no positivity. Just naming it. Sounds dumb. Reduced my nighttime spiraling by like 60%.
Aronia Lexicon of the Inexpressible: 100 Invented Words for Deep …
- The “ugly cry” permission slip I literally have a note in my phone that says “you’re allowed to ugly cry today if you need to.” Gave myself permission to fall apart sometimes instead of white-knuckling it. Game changer.
- Walking while listening to angry music instead of podcasts Rage Against the Machine + fast walk > another self-help audiobook when I’m pissed off. Lets the emotion move through instead of getting trapped.
Also—huge shoutout to actual therapy. I resisted for years because “I’m not that bad.” Turns out you don’t have to be suicidal to deserve help. Finding a therapist who didn’t flinch when I cursed changed everything. If you’re curious, Psychology Today’s therapist finder is still the easiest place to start.
But Wait… Emotional Health Doesn’t Fix Everything (The Messy Truth)
Here’s where I get real contradictory because life isn’t a neat Pinterest quote.
Even when I’m doing “all the things” for my emotional wellbeing, I still:
- snap at my partner when I’m hungry
- doomscroll for three hours when I’m anxious
- feel jealous when someone else wins
- hate my body on bad days
Emotional health isn’t becoming a zen monk. It’s just making the crashes less frequent and less deep. It’s being able to say “yeah I’m having a shitty emotional day” instead of pretending I’m fine and then exploding later.
And honestly? That tiny shift has made me better at my job, kinder to people I love, and—cheesiest sentence incoming—actually happy some days. Not fake Instagram happy. Like quiet, boring, “I’m okay right now and that feels wild” happy.
Wrapping This Ramble Up
Look, I’m still a work in progress. I still eat feelings in the form of Taco Bell at 1 a.m. sometimes. I still compare myself to people who look like they have their emotional health perfectly together (they don’t). But I’m not running away from my feelings as much anymore.
If any of this sounded familiar, maybe try just one thing. Name the emotion. Cry ugly if you need to. Walk angry. Whatever feels least fake to you.
