Traits of Influential Leaders Rain’s hammering the window again, my dog just farted so hard the chair creaked, and I’m trying to write something useful about leadership while feeling like I should probably be in therapy instead. But whatever. These are the ten patterns I’ve watched in people who actually get other humans to move, and the messy, embarrassing ways I’ve been trying to copy them.
1. Brutal Self-Honesty (the kind that makes your stomach flip)
Best leaders I’ve met don’t bullshit themselves first. Traits of Influential Leaders They’ll straight-up say “I fucked that up and here’s why.”
I spent like four months gaslighting myself that our last project delay was “mostly supply-chain issues” when really I just kept changing requirements because I was scared to ship something imperfect. Finally told the team “Yeah no this is on me—I got in my own head.” Felt like throwing up. Next standup three different people admitted their own fuck-ups without prompting. Weirdly beautiful.
HBR wrote a solid piece on this if you want the fancy version → https://hbr.org/2021/01/what-self-awareness-really-is-and-how-to-cultivate-it
2. Actually Listening (not just waiting for your turn to talk)
I used to think “good leader = fast talker with answers.” Then I shadowed this woman who would legit sit in silence for fifteen seconds after someone finished speaking. People started saying stuff they never would have otherwise.
I’m still trash at it. Yesterday I cut my designer off mid-sentence because I got excited about an idea. Caught myself, said “shit sorry—keep going.” Felt awkward as hell. She finished, idea was better than mine. Go figure.
Forbes has a decent roundup on listening here → https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2025/02/19/why-listening-is-the-ultimate-leadership-superpower/
3. Getting cozy with feeling like absolute garbage sometimes
Influential leaders don’t enjoy hard conversations—they just don’t ghost them.
Had to tell a friend/colleague his code quality was tanking morale. Rehearsed it while walking the dog in the rain. Hands shaking. Delivered it. He stared at the floor for like eight seconds then said “thanks for not sugarcoating.” We’re still friends. My sympathetic nervous system still thinks I’m dying every time though.
Tips to help your friends and support each other – Student Life
4. Handing out credit like it’s candy on Halloween
Good ones say “the team nailed this” even when they carried half the load themselves.
I started doing it on purpose last quarter. Feels fake at first. Then people start owning shit without being asked. Turns out recognition is like cheat-code rocket fuel.
5. Boring, Annoying, Glorious Consistency
The quietest trait of influential leaders is just… showing up the same way every damn day.
I forced myself to start work at 7:30 regardless of vibe. No one said a word about it for months. Then a new hire goes “I come in early because I saw you always here and it made me feel safe to plan my day.” Almost cried into my cold brew.
James Clear nerds out about this better than I ever could → https://jamesclear.com/continuous-improvement
6. Apologizing clean—no footnotes, no excuses
I once rage-typed a Slack message at 11 p.m. because I was stressed. Read it the next morning and wanted to die. Sent: “That was unnecessary and mean. I’m sorry. Full stop.” No “but I was tired” paragraph.
She replied with a thumbs-up and later left a donut on my desk. Smallest gesture ever, biggest relief ever Traits of Influential Leaders.
7. Actually being curious about humans who aren’t you
Best leaders ask shit like “what’s been the highlight of your week that nobody’s noticed yet?”
I stole that question. People light up. I feel like a fraud asking it sometimes but the answers are worth the cringe.
8. Making the damn call (even at 68% sure)
Paralysis kills more projects than bad ideas.
Watched a founder once go “We’re shipping v2 this Friday. If it explodes we’ll fix it Saturday and I’ll be the one explaining why to the board.” Team went feral trying to make it work. I’m still learning to kill my own indecision faster.
9. Guarding energy like it’s the last charger in the airport
Burned-out leaders spread misery. Good ones say no, disappear for walks, sleep.
I block 45 min every afternoon now even when it feels lazy. Come back less bitchy. Miracle.
10. Hope + Eyes Wide Open
They see the dumpster fire but still believe the group can put it out.
Economy’s weird, layoffs everywhere, AI eating half the job postings. I still tell my people “Yeah it’s ugly out there… but we’re scrappy and clever. We’ll figure our lane.” And I mean it. Most days.
