Positive thinking literally saved my ass these past couple years and I’m not even being dramatic (okay maybe a little dramatic).
I’m sitting here in my messy apartment outside DC, it’s like 38 degrees, there’s half a cold brew sweating on the table, my dog is aggressively chewing a sock that used to be white, and I’m trying to explain to you how I went from “everything always sucks and I’m doomed” to… well… mostly “eh, we’ll figure it out, probably”.
It’s not sunshine and rainbows 24/7. That’s bullshit and anyone selling you that is lying.
But learning how to change your mindset through intentional positive thinking? Yeah. That part actually kinda works.
Why I Used to Be So Damn Negative (Embarrassing Edition)
I used to wake up and the first thought in my brain was basically: “Great. Another day of being a disappointment.”
I’d scroll X (Twitter back then), see everyone’s highlight reel, and immediately decide I was failing at life. Then I’d spill coffee on my shirt. Then I’d cry in the car on the way to work. Then I’d tell myself “see? This is proof. You’re a mess.”
It was a beautiful little self-fulfilling prophecy I had going.
Here’s the thing nobody tells you early on about positive thinking:
It feels fake as hell at first.
Like, aggressively fake.
The Impact of Social Comparison on Teens and Ways to Cope
The inevitable coffee spill that becomes instant evidence you’re a mess:
150+ Spilled Coffee On A Shirt Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty …
Followed by the quiet breakdown in the car on the way to work, where it all feels confirmed:
402 Woman Crying In Car Stock Photos, High-Res Pictures, and …
Telling myself “I’m capable and things will work out” while I’m crying in traffic felt like lying to a small child. I could almost hear my brain going “girl… really?”
But I kept going anyway. Because the alternative — staying in that dark little hole — was starting to feel worse than the cringe.
How I Actually Started to Change My Mindset (The Messy Version)
I didn’t wake up one day enlightened. It was incremental and annoying.
Here are the things that kinda-sorta worked for me:
- The 3-second rule for catastrophizing When my brain goes “this is the end, I’m gonna die alone with 17 cats”, I literally give myself 3 seconds to feel it… then I force myself to say out loud (yes, out loud): “Okay but maybe it won’t be that bad.” Sounds stupid. Works stupidly well.
- Evidence journaling (not gratitude journaling — I hated that) I started writing down tiny pieces of evidence that things weren’t 100% terrible. Examples from last month: • Didn’t get fired even though I was late 3× • Dog still loves me even when I forget to buy treats • Ate a vegetable… once
- Talking to myself like I talk to my best friend When I mess up I used to go: “You’re so stupid, how do you still exist?” Now I try: “Babe… you’re having a day. It’s fine. We fix it tomorrow.” Huge difference.
These cozy journal vibes really nail the simple, low-pressure evidence collecting:
You can read more research about how self-compassion actually beats self-criticism for long-term change here: → Self-Compassion.org – Dr. Kristin Neff
The Part Where I Still Suck at Positive Thinking
I still have days where I wake up convinced the world is ending.
Last Tuesday I had a panic attack because my boss said “we need to talk” (turns out she just wanted to know if I liked oat or almond milk better for the office fridge).
I spiraled for like four hours.
Then I remembered: “Oh yeah… I’m practicing positive thinking now… crap.”
So I sat on my floor, breathed like a dramatic yoga influencer, and told myself:
“This might suck. But it’s probably not the apocalypse.”
And you know what? It wasn’t.
It never is.
Quick Hits That Actually Help Me Stay Sane
- Put sticky notes on my bathroom mirror (yes I’m that person now)
- Follow people on X who aren’t just hustle porn (shoutout to the shitposters and dog accounts)
- When I catch myself doom-scrolling, I force myself to search “baby hippo” instead
- Tell at least one person “I’m proud of you” every day (even if it’s just my dog)
Final Thoughts (aka I’m Still a Work in Progress)
Positive thinking isn’t about pretending everything is perfect.
It’s about refusing to let your brain default to the worst possible timeline every single time.
I’m still messy. I still cry in the car sometimes. I still compare myself to people who have their life together on Instagram.
