A winning mindset is honestly the only thing that’s kept me from completely rage-quitting life the last couple years.
Right now I’m sitting in my messy home office in [somewhere in the US – let’s say suburban sprawl outside Raleigh because that feels accurate today], it’s mid-January 2026, the heat just kicked on with that dusty burning smell, my half-dead monstera is judging me from the corner, and I’m staring at yet another “launch” that’s currently sitting at 3 sign-ups after two weeks of posting like a lunatic. So yeah… this post is coming from a very flawed, slightly salty, still-trying American human.
Here’s what I’ve learned (and un-learned) the hard way.
Why Most “Winning Mindset” Advice Feels Like Toxic Positivity Bullshit
You know the drill.
“Visualize success every morning!” “Eliminate negative self-talk!” “Become a 5 a.m. club member or you’re doomed!”
I tried all of it. Religiously. For like 18 months straight in 2023–2024.
I woke up at 4:47 a.m., chugged lemon water that tasted like regret, journaled affirmations so aggressively positive they made me cringe in real time (“I am a money magnet!!!”), and still ended most days feeling like a fraud who was one Venmo request away from crying in the Chipotle bathroom.
The problem? I was trying to glue a shiny winning mindset on top of a foundation that still believed deep down I was the kid who got cut from JV soccer in 10th grade.
Real talk: you can’t affirmations your way out of core shame. You have to face the gross stuff first.
The Three Things That Actually Moved the Needle for Me (Messy Edition)
1. Stop Calling It a “Winning Mindset” Every Five Seconds – Call It Evidence Collection
I got way less toxic when I stopped obsessing over “becoming” someone with a winning mindset and started treating every tiny win like court-admissible evidence that maybe I’m not hopeless.
Examples from the last six weeks:
- Wrote 412 terrible words → still published the newsletter anyway
- Someone left “this sucked” on my YouTube → replied “thanks for the feedback!” instead of spiraling for 3 days
- Hit publish on a product that felt 62% ready → 7 sales in 48 hours
Every one of those is now filed in the mental folder labeled “proof I can handle discomfort.” No glittery mindset language required.
Carol Dweck’s growth mindset research still holds up stupidly well here → read the summary of her foundational work.
2. Get Weirdly Specific About the Ugly Thoughts (and Say Them Out Loud)
This one feels embarrassing as hell but it works.
When the “I’m a fraud / everyone else is killing it / I should just get a normal job” loop starts, I literally say it out loud in the most dramatic voice possible.
Like full theater-kid energy.
“I AM A COMPLETE FRAUD AND EVERYONE IS LAUGHING AT ME BEHIND MY BACK.”
Then I wait. Usually within 8–12 seconds the adult part of my brain goes “…okay that was a bit extra. Let’s look at actual evidence.”
It’s dumb. It’s cringe. It breaks the loop 70% of the time.
James Clear talks about making identity changes tiny and believable in Atomic Habits – same principle applies to the inner voice → his article on getting 1% better.
3. Build “Failure Immunity” Through Deliberate Micro-Dosing
I used to avoid anything that could go wrong. Now I intentionally do small, low-stakes things that scare me every week so failure stops feeling like death.
Recent hits:
- Posted a 47-second TikTok where I tripped over my words → 1.2k views, mostly hate-watchers probably
- DM’d a creator I admire → got ghosted
- Ran a $47 offer that flopped so hard Stripe sent me a sympathy emoji (I’m kidding they didn’t but it felt like it)
Each one sucks for about 90 minutes. Then it’s done. The nervous system starts remembering: “Oh. We survived. Again.”
Angela Duckworth’s work on grit is gold here → short TED summary worth 6 minutes.
The Psychology of Ghosting and How You Should Respond
Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance | Angela Lee Duckworth | TED
The Contradiction I’m Still Wrestling With
Here’s the part I hate admitting.
Some days I still want the Instagram version: calm, certain, radiating winning mindset energy 24/7.
And some days I’m genuinely proud of the scrappy, doubt-filled, still-showing-up version.
