7 Effective Stress Management okay so… stress management techniques are basically the only reason im not lying face-down on the floor rn at like 7:45pm on a random monday in january 2026.My apartment smells like burnt toast because I forgot the toaster again, there’s laundry mountain growing in the corner, and my dog keeps staring at me like “you good bro?” Spoiler: I’m not good. But I’m trying these 7 things and sometimes (like 38% of the time) they actually stop me from spiralling into full chaos mode.
1. 4-7-8 Breathing (I laughed at it until I was crying behind the cauliflower gnocchi)
I used to think people who did breathing exercises were just bougie yoga moms. 7 Effective Stress Management Then I had a full meltdown in Trader Joe’s parking lot last week because they moved the oat milk aisle and my brain said “this is it, this is how we die”.
Hid in my car. Did the stupid 4 seconds in, hold 7, out for 8. Felt dumb. Also felt… less like I was gonna explode.
Here’s the actual technique from Dr. Weil if you want the legit version (I probably did it wrong half the time): https://www.drweil.com/health-wellness/body-mind-spirit/stress-anxiety/breathing-exercises-4-7-8/
Love, Loss and Mandarin Orange Chicken: How I Broke Up With Trader …
2. Strategic Pillow Screaming (yes its a technique now)
Sometimes you just gotta scream. Not cute “ommmm” scream. Full banshee, throat-destroying, “I hate capitalism and also dishes” scream. Into a pillow obviously, because neighbors.
It’s dumb. It’s ugly. It works better than therapy sometimes.
Even fancy people at Harvard kinda agree that making noise can dump nervous system stress: https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/relaxation-techniques-breath-control-helps-quell-errant-stress-response
3. The “One Stupid Tiny Win” Rule (because big goals laugh at me)
When everything feels like too much, I pick one idiot thing. Today it was “actually put the clean socks in the drawer instead of on top of the dresser like a feral raccoon”.
One win. Brain goes “okay we’re not completely useless today”. It’s pathetic. I love it.
4. Dramatic Sad-Girl Walks With Music (main character syndrome but make it mental health)
Hoodie up, sunglasses even when its 7pm and dark, play the saddest song you own (right now it’s “Motion Sickness” by Phoebe Bridgers on infinite repeat), and walk like you’re in a coming-of-age movie trailer.
People stare. I don’t care. I feel 7% less like garbage afterwards.
5. Deleting / Muting One Digital Demon
Last week I finally deleted Snapchat. Didn’t even realize how much those stupid streaks were stressing me out until they were gone. Cortisol literally dropped.
Also muted my cousin who only sends me reels of luxury apartments at 1am. Sorry not sorry.
6. Floor Time / Dead Fish Body Scan (very glamorous)
7 Effective Stress Management Lie on the actual floor like roadkill. Tense and release every muscle group starting from toes → head. Usually cry when I get to the hips. Apparently they hold trauma. Who knew. Afterwards I feel like someone turned the gravity down 30%.
If you want someone to guide you so you don’t feel as weird alone: https://www.calm.com/blog/body-scan-meditation
7. “This is just Tuesday brain” reframe (my favorite lie)
Most days I’m convinced I’m permanently broken and life will always feel like this. Then I tell myself “eh this is just Tuesday brain”. Wednesday brain might be slightly less trash. It’s not profound. It’s barely logical. It still helps more than it should.
